When the extent and consequences of your spinal cord injury are explained to you and your family, individual reactions will vary greatly. Some will react with tears, others with profanity, frozen shock, a feeling of emptiness, saintly acceptance, humor, stoic resolve, complete denial, anger, confusion, or a feeling that life is unfair. Many other feelings and consequent behaviors, some seemingly bizarre, can also be experienced. Don’t be concerned if you and your family are “all over the map” in your reactions to your spinal cord injury. Whatever feeling erupts or seeps through is a normal reaction to one of life’s abnormal events. You and each family member are entitled to feel however you do. This is to be expected, because each of you has different expectations, coping experiences, and relationships. Expressing your feelings may help to unload that big bag you feel is weighing you down. Paradoxically, you sometimes need to give yourself permission to lose control in order to maintain control.
At this early stage, family members need to accept and support each other wherever they are emotionally. You are experiencing one of life’s unplanned wilderness experiences; you are a frontiersman. You have no map for this new phase of life. You and those around you need to express all your feelings, including feelings of uncertainty. Doing so will bring much relief, and then you can concentrate your energy on the next difficult steps toward your recovery.
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